The Parable of the Sower and Relationships

I've been studying the parable of the sower and relationships all week. I've written a little ditty about what I've learned. Humor me if you will. I know Heavenly Father gave this revelation to me because I needed it the most. But, I thought someone might benefit from it too. This comes from the Savior's parable of the sower and the seed as written in Luke Chapter 8. This is a long term scripture study that I had, where the spirit helped me to better understand building relationships--most in particular, dating relationships. The Sower and Relationships (Luke 8) 5 A sower went out to sow his seed: and as he sowed, some fell by the way side; and it was trodden down, and the fowls of the air devoured it. (Luke 8:5) The wayside is a hardened, densely-packed, and crusted pathway that has been trodden upon by many people. I imagine that when our hearts feel like the wayside, we feel like soil, heavily packed with the feet of the world stomping on us, telling us that we aren't good enough or that we aren't lovable. Sometimes we can feel so downtrodden by "careless swine" (Matt 7:6) that when a seed of a potential relationship presents itself, our hearts and minds won't even allow the thought in. The wayside are those who have become "calloused" by negativity to the point that they do not "understand" who they are. In this particular condition, the relationship has no safe place in our hearts to take root and is immediately is taken away by Satan's minions (the fowls). Luke says "then cometh the devil, and taketh away the word (relationship) out of their hearts, lest they should believe (their true potential)." "He would never go for me. Why bother," is one statement I have been guilty of thinking when my heart has been hardened and crusted like the wayside (Luke 8:12). 6 And some fell upon a rock; and as soon as it was sprung up, it withered away, because it lacked moisture. In this part of the parable, some seeds fell on "stony ground." Using our relationship analogy, we can see that these are those who initially receive the (relationship) with gladness, but when persecutions (i.e. trials in the relationship) arose, the seed, or relationship, withered because the heart of the person carrying for the relationship "lacked moisture." In relationships, hearts can have rocks such as fear, anxiety, pride, or an unwillingness to commit. This can create a condition in the hearts where it can become unemphatic, impatient, or blaming. In many cases, those who have "rocks" in their soil (hearts), will often blame the relationship itself as a "bad seed" for not taking root. These are the kinds of relationships that are superficially fertile, but on a deeper level, stony hearts are not able to create a lasting and abiding relationship. Even long term relationships can lose root if we are not careful to keep our hearts fertile. If we were to take this perspective on the sower of relationships to Elder Oaks talk on The Parable of the Sower, we would be wise not to have a "key hole" view of our relationships. A key hole view is when we look at a relationship from a very limited perspective. People with hearts in this condition, might be so fixated on what is ideal in a desired relationship that they miss the larger panoramic view that provides a myriad of possibility for any relationship (General Conference April 2014). 7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprang up with it, and choked it. Note that just like the stony heart, the ground with thorns was a fertile soil. However, the seed was overgrown by weeds that crowded out more productive plants by depriving it of much needed water and nutrients. Christ says that the thorns that choked the seed/relationship were "the cares and riches and pleasures of this life." (Luke 8:`14) It isn't always easy to identify a thorny weed from a beautiful plant. Like roses, some planted thorns don't always look seemingly bad. It is easy to be distracted by what seems as good or better plant, instead of making room for the plant that matters most. When thinking of a plant being chocked out by other plants, I think of the story of Mary and Martha when the Savior went to visit their house. Martha was "encumbered about" by many good things that kept her from what was the "better part"--that is, her complete and undivided attention on the savior. Likewise, it would be easy to get carried away in unnecessary business, creating admirable talents, or having enough money to impress someone we hope to have a relationship with. But in doing so, we waist our valuable resource of time and energy (or our in the sower analogy, water and sunlight) forgetting that the better part would be to listen, love, and nurture the more important person (or plant) we are with. 8 And other fell on good ground, and sprang up, and bare fruit an hundredfold. What creates a fertile ground? Honestly, I am still working on find that within my own heart. However, I know that as I turn to and rely on the atonement, that my heart has become more and more fertile. Alma 32 gives greater insight as to what we can do to nurture and grow a good seed once we have found one. In verse 41 we read, "But if ye will nourish the (relationship)....as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it will take root." Alma mentions faith, diligence, and patience 3 times in verses 41-43 as the means of being successful at nourishing a new plant. It takes faith in Jesus Christ to take out the unwanted stones in our hearts. It takes patience as we allow Him to turn over the soil of a crusted, downtrodden heart to become fertile. It takes turning to Him on a daily, diligent basis so that he can help us identify and weed out what is good but unnecessary in our daily lives in order to make room for the seeds that matter most. As it says in Alma 34:43 "Ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience...waiting for the tree to bring forth the fruit unto you." Moreover it is important to realize the crucial role that humility plays in changing the condition of our hearts. In Alma 32, Alma rejoices over the "penitent" hearts of the poor (Alma 32:7) He writes, "It is well that ye are cast out of your synagogues that ye may be humble, and that ye may learn wisdom." (32:12) Turning over soil, pulling out rocks embedded deep in our hearts, and weeding out amusing yet unimportant plants can be painful and difficult to do. I think that is one of the reasons Alma says blessed is he that believeth" and changes their hearts "without stubbornness of heart, yea, without being...compelled" to change. It is only when we are humble enough to see and recognize that our lot lacks the fruit of a bounteous or desirable relationship that we will be willing to change the condition or soil of our hearts. One last insight in this analogy as pertaining to the attitude of the sower. The sower was not particular about where the seeds were planted. He or she didn't try to predict in advance the conditions of the soil before the seed was planted. The sower was merely trying to do his part in spreading what seeds she/he had to all. I think of some of the greatest love stories in the Bible--Rebekah and Isaac, Ruth and Boaz, Esther and the king---all these women married great men while trying to sow seeds of goodness to all they met. Ruth wasn't looking for Boaz, she was trying to find food for her mother-in-law. Rebekah wasn't looking for Isaac, she was simply helping a thirsty traveler. As a sower of relationships, it would be wise to spend our efforts with the same mentality, that is, to sow good relationships to all we come in contact with and let their hearts, not ours, be the determining factor of a good relationship.

The Parable of the Sower and Relationships

I've been studying the parable of the sower and relationships all week. I've written a little ditty about what I've learned. Humor me if you will. I know Heavenly Father gave this revelation to me because I needed it the most. But, I thought someone might benefit from it too. This comes from the Parable of the Sower and the seed as written in Luke Chapter 8. This is a long term scripture study that I had, where the spirit helped me to better understand building relationships--most in particular, dating relationships. The Sower and Relationships (Luke 8) 5 A sower went out to sow his seed: and as he sowed, some fell by the way side; and it was trodden down, and the fowls of the air devoured it. (Luke 8:5) The wayside is a hardened, densely-packed, and crusted pathway that has been trodden upon by many people. I imagine that when our hearts feel like the wayside, we feel like soil, heavily packed with the feet of the world stomping on us, telling us that we aren't good enough or that we aren't lovable. Sometimes we can feel so downtrodden by "careless swine" (Matt 7:6) that when a seed of a potential relationship presents itself, our hearts and minds won't even allow the thought in. The wayside are those who have become "calloused" by negativity to the point that they do not "understand" who they are. In this particular condition, the relationship has no safe place in our hearts to take root and is immediately is taken away by Satan's minions (the fowls). Luke says "then cometh the devil, and taketh away the word (relationship) out of their hearts, lest they should believe (their true potential)." "He would never go for me. Why bother," is one statement I have been guilty of thinking when my heart has been hardened and crusted like the wayside (Luke 8:12). 6 And some fell upon a rock; and as soon as it was sprung up, it withered away, because it lacked moisture. In this part of the parable, some seeds fell on "stony ground." Using our relationship analogy, we can see that these are those who initially receive the (relationship) with gladness, but when persecutions (i.e. trials in the relationship) arose, the seed, or relationship, withered because the heart of the person carrying for the relationship "lacked moisture." In relationships, hearts can have rocks such as fear, anxiety, pride, or an unwillingness to commit. This can create a condition in the hearts where it can become unemphatic, impatient, or blaming. In many cases, those who have "rocks" in their soil (hearts), will often blame the relationship itself as a "bad seed" for not taking root. These are the kinds of relationships that are superficially fertile, but on a deeper level, stony hearts are not able to create a lasting and abiding relationship. Even long term relationships can lose root if we are not careful to keep our hearts fertile. If we were to take this perspective on the sower of relationships to Elder Oaks talk on The Parable of the Sower, we would be wise not to have a "key hole" view of our relationships. A key hole view is when we look at a relationship from a very limited perspective. People with hearts in this condition, might be so fixated on what is ideal in a desired relationship that they miss the larger panoramic view that provides a myriad of possibility for any relationship (General Conference April 2014). 7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprang up with it, and choked it. Note that just like the stony heart, the ground with thorns was a fertile soil. However, the seed was overgrown by weeds that crowded out more productive plants by depriving it of much needed water and nutrients. Christ says that the thorns that choked the seed/relationship were "the cares and riches and pleasures of this life." (Luke 8:`14) It isn't always easy to identify a thorny weed from a beautiful plant. Like roses, some planted thorns don't always look seemingly bad. It is easy to be distracted by what seems as good or better plant, instead of making room for the plant that matters most. When thinking of a plant being chocked out by other plants, I think of the story of Mary and Martha when the Savior went to visit their house. Martha was "encumbered about" by many good things that kept her from what was the "better part"--that is, her complete and undivided attention on the savior. Likewise, it would be easy to get carried away in unnecessary business, creating admirable talents, or having enough money to impress someone we hope to have a relationship with. But in doing so, we waist our valuable resource of time and energy (or our in the sower analogy, water and sunlight) forgetting that the better part would be to listen, love, and nurture the more important person (or plant) we are with. 8 And other fell on good ground, and sprang up, and bare fruit an hundredfold. What creates a fertile ground? Honestly, I am still working on find that within my own heart. However, I know that as I turn to and rely on the atonement, that my heart has become more and more fertile. Alma 32 gives greater insight as to what we can do to nurture and grow a good seed once we have found one. In verse 41 we read, "But if ye will nourish the (relationship)....as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it will take root." Alma mentions faith, diligence, and patience 3 times in verses 41-43 as the means of being successful at nourishing a new plant. It takes faith in Jesus Christ to take out the unwanted stones in our hearts. It takes patience as we allow Him to turn over the soil of a crusted, downtrodden heart to become fertile. It takes turning to Him on a daily, diligent basis so that he can help us identify and weed out what is good but unnecessary in our daily lives in order to make room for the seeds that matter most. As it says in Alma 34:43 "Ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience...waiting for the tree to bring forth the fruit unto you." Moreover it is important to realize the crucial role that humility plays in changing the condition of our hearts. In Alma 32, Alma rejoices over the "penitent" hearts of the poor (Alma 32:7) He writes, "It is well that ye are cast out of your synagogues that ye may be humble, and that ye may learn wisdom." (32:12) Turning over soil, pulling out rocks embedded deep in our hearts, and weeding out amusing yet unimportant plants can be painful and difficult to do. I think that is one of the reasons Alma says blessed is he that believeth" and changes their hearts "without stubbornness of heart, yea, without being...compelled" to change. It is only when we are humble enough to see and recognize that our lot lacks the fruit of a bounteous or desirable relationship that we will be willing to change the condition or soil of our hearts. One last insight in this analogy as pertaining to the attitude of the sower. The sower was not particular about where the seeds were planted. He or she didn't try to predict in advance the conditions of the soil before the seed was planted. The sower was merely trying to do his part in spreading what seeds she/he had to all. I think of some of the greatest love stories in the Bible--Rebekah and Isaac, Ruth and Boaz, Esther and the king---all these women married great men while trying to sow seeds of goodness to all they met. Ruth wasn't looking for Boaz, she was trying to find food for her mother-in-law. Rebekah wasn't looking for Isaac, she was simply helping a thirsty traveler. As a sower of relationships, it would be wise to spend our efforts with the same mentality, that is, to sow good relationships to all we come in contact with and let their hearts, not ours, be the determining factor of a good relationship.